is going to sue over The Wrestler. 
. As much as I love Jake the Snake, part of me wishes The Wrestler was inspired by Junkyard Dog
or George the Animal Steele!
It's kind of annoying that there aren't any blatantly anorexic stars right now. It really leaves me with no anorexia references for jokes.
And for some reason, it still seems wrong to make Karen Carpenter jokes.
I don't mean to be bitchy, but as a general rule, unless you are like, Steve Martin,
don't give me comedy notes. I think it is funny when people say that because of the recession they are scaling back. And then they buy a new car.
Face it Oprah, you are always going to be fat.
And if you could just get past it...I would maybe not hate your guts.
I am sad, because I feel like My Own Worst Enemy and Eli Stone just keep getting better and better. But it is too late:(
I don't care what anyone says, even if Yes Man sucks, Ace Ventura will ALWAYS be a classic in my book.
Remember when this chick was in every movie? What happened to her?
P.S. For a second, Chunk was going to be my "entertainment lawyer." I swear! I try not to brag about celebrity moments, but I wanted to yell that shit from the rooftops.
Even though I've dressed up as you for Halloween, I've always had your back Britney.
True Life might be MTV's most addictive show. Have you ever seen the one where the girl's parents are clowns? Classic!
Or the one with the creepy Persian twin magicians?
ALL guacamole should be made without cilantro.
What does Carmen Electra do? No seriously. What is her job?
Ask yourself, when was the last time you saw a funny female comic on a nightime talk show? Now write your nightime talk show and tell them it should be me!! ( According to my dad, this is all I need to do to get on Letterman:)
I don't know when it happened...but suddenly, bowties aren't funny anymore.
(But a bowtie on a cat...for some reason...still hilarious!)
If you think life has been a little stale lately, triple-dog-dare someone to do something. It really spices things up!
Whenever I watch Conan and people talk about their "awful day jobs," none of them even seem half as bad as my last day job.
This is what I wore my last day at my old job. Because let's face it, I always have to have the final word:)
One of my best day jobs, was when I worked in a photo lab. Why? Because of Mr. Douglas, the man who dropped off his pictures weekly and was in a nudist colony. You haven't lived until you've seen pictures of a nudist barbecue or better yet, a nudist wedding.
(Sorry, but I obviously never stole any of Mr. Douglas's pictures. This picture however, was readily available on the internet).
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